PEDRO: Miss, pabili nga ng bolpen.
MISS: Sorry po sir, wala po kaming bolpen.
[Inis na lumabas si Pedro sa tindahan.
PEDRO: My God! Penshoppe walang bolpen! Haller!


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bakit hindi tinatagalog ang NO ID NO ENTRY sa gate lalo n s paaraalan?
kc pg tinagalog yun, ang kalalabasan, "WALANG ID WALANG PASOK!" Yahoo! uwian na!


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I may not be present with you everyday but 1 thing I promise you.
I’ll be there on your wedding day, I’m going to sit beside you while saying the words,
"yes!!!! Kainan naaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!”


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ano ibig sabihin ng SMART???
S-ending
M-essage
A-lways failes and
R-eceiving your
T-ext always late.
Buti naka-GLOBE tayo!!!!


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Erap: isasauli ko tong nabili kong VHS tape.
Clerk: ano problema?
Erap: walang picture tsaka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata.
Clerk: Sir anong title?
Erap: head cleaner!!


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Hi,Promo from SMART
Keep texting me and win exciting prizes!!!!
3rd price: kiss my nose.
2nd prize: kiss my cheek.
1st prize: 30 min lips to lips.
Promo valid until I’m single.
Ano pang hinihintay mo??? Text na!!!!!


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love story ng pokpok at adik.
ADIK: Love, pakasal na tayo!!!!
POKPOK: ok lang ba syo??? May nkaraan ako eh!!!!
ADIK: ok lang honey, wala nmn akong kinabukasan eh!!!


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Isang araw, may lumapit sa kin...
Sinabing “matauhan ka nga! Di kita mahal, di kita minahal at di kita mamahalin!”
Naiyak ako, sabi ko sa kanya...
"Hindi kita kilala! ADIK!!!!"


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chinese man dying on his bed.
Chinese: Aki asawa ajan ba?
Asawa ng Chinese: oo.
Chinese: aki panganay ajan ba?
Panganay ng Chinese: Opo.
Chinese : Aki bunso ajan ba?
Bunso ng Chinese: Opo.
Chinese: Wala hiya kayo. Di kayo laat wala tao tindahan!!!!


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4 kinds of utot.
Utot 1. long but harmless.
Utot 2. loud and proud.
Utot 3. silent but violent
Utot 4. wet and wild!


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Teacher: what’s your name?

Pupil: early seven strikeland po!

Teacher: niloloko mo ba ko?

Pupil: hindi po, yan ang name ko sa inglis! Sa pilipino po, Agapito Hampaslupa.


 

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Juan: pare cnong idol mo?
Pedro: c arnold schwarzenegger.
Juan: cge nga, spell schwarzenegger?
Pedro: hnde, joke lng. Pare si Jet Li tlga idol ko!


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Erap Bumbs foreigner

Erap: sorry!!!

Foreigner: sorry too!!

Erap: im sorry 3!!!

Foreigner: What your sorry for??

Erap: sorry 5!!!

Foreigner: sorry but your sick!!

Erap: Sorry 7.. kala yata nito hindi ako marunong magbilang ah…

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Anak: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANK TRAK..

Tatay: anong dantrak??

Anak: yung pong trak na sampu ang gulong na karga buhangin…

Tatay: hindi dantrak yan… “TEN MILLER!!”

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Lola: Ineng, may manliligaw ka na ba?
Apo: Marami na po sila Lola.
Lola: May napipisil ka na ba sa kanila???
Apo: TITI pa lang po nila lola….


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May TITI ka ba?
T- tiwala sa
I - iyong
T- tunay na
I- iniibig


 

 


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